


Heaven Knows How I Loved You

by daisylynx



Category: Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Dangan Ronpa Zero
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Despair Komaeda Nagito, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, I don't know if Ren counts as an original character, Kisses, M/M, Multi, One Shot, Touch-Starved, but I loved him regardless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 01:58:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18326381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisylynx/pseuds/daisylynx
Summary: "When I saw him sitting on a hospital bed, wearing a hospital gown... Just staring at thin air, with bandages on his head and his shoulder-length dark hair messy..."Hajime Hinata had been erased from existence. What's left of him is this empty shell who couldn't even talk, he also walks around and clings to people like a baby.Inspired by this manga: https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=manga&illust_id=59280241





	Heaven Knows How I Loved You

By luck, I was early for my appointment. Within the Hope's Peak, there was an ultimate, the Ultimate Neurologist named Yasuke Matsuda that could definitely cure my dementia, so I started making appointments with him. Even if he couldn't, being a test subject for him as his talent shines was enough for me. 

This time inside the room, there was a boy my age, instead of Matsuda. He looked like a patient, with bandages, clothing attire and all. And he was just... Spacing out.

"Hello?"

The boy looked at me. He had a symmetrical, cute face and his eyes were a pretty shade of green, unlike the ugly shade of mine. Despite all of the emptiness, I could sense some sadness within them.

"Are you okay? Oh, that was a dumb question. I mean bandages and all..."

I could swear that the boy's eyes were filled with even more sadness now. It made me feel bad for him.

"I wonder, are you also an Ultimate or just a--" 

I couldn't bring myself to complete that sentence. I was unable to do so.

I found myself getting closer and closer to the boy. He was directly looking into my eyes now as if he was in a trance.

"What is your name?"

The boy didn't respond.

"Can you even speak?"

He slowly opened his mouth but nothing was heard.

"Don't force yourself to try and respond to trash like me." I sighed. Oh my, he looked like a kicked puppy. I wanted to reach out to the boy and physically comfort him but god knows what would go horribly wrong.

But instead, he reached his hand out to touch me. Or more accurately, my hair. I got closer to him as he played with my hair as if he was a baby and I was his toy, and I found myself enjoying it. Slowly, I touched his silky hair in a way to return the questionable affection he was giving me.

After minutes of just playing with hair, he pulled me closer and put his hands around me. 

Since my parents' death, nobody hugged me, so I was more than grateful. I inhaled his scent, tainted with chemicals but still sweet.

"Komaeda!"

That startled the boy and he hugged me tighter.

"I thought I locked that fuckin' door. I swear I did! Goddammit!"

I had to let go of the boy but still stood protectively between him and Matsuda. 

"There's nothing wrong between us, he just seemed alone, so I got close to him... Then he hugged me."

The boy hugged me from behind as if he was proving my point. And it felt nice.

"That bastard." Matsuda scowled. "He's like a goddamn baby."

"What's his name?"

"It's classified information and doesn't matter anyway. He can't remember anything. Don't ask anything else about him. Consider him as a regular patient like you. Hey, Komaeda's not a teddy bear, let him go, you brat!" Halfway through his explanation, Matsuda shouted at the boy who was practically suffocating me. Not that I mind.

"Can I see him again?" I asked hoping that he would agree. Hugging the boy was so nice, warm and comfortable, I wanted to do it again.

"It's forbidden for students to interact with him." He scowled.  
"But he can't talk anyway, so please let me visit him at least once a week. He seems so lonely."  
"You're the one who's lonely, Komaeda." Matsuda looked at me knowingly. And he was right. 

 

Despite Matsuda's objections, I still found ways to meet with the boy. Sometimes my luck prevented us from getting caught, or Matsuda was so tired he couldn't say anything.

"I still don't know his name. I just need something to refer to him as."  
I sighed while the boy snuggled up to me. He'd just bury his face on my neck and breathe in there. "Aren't you quite lovely..." I slowly whispered to him, threading my fingers in his hair while I was waiting for Matsuda to answer. He was practically buried in his research.  
"Honestly, I don't care. Call him whatever the fuck you want."

"Then I'll just call him... Ren."  
Ren looked at me with shining eyes and gave a sloppy kiss on the corner of my mouth. His hair had gotten even longer and was framing his face in a lovely way. 

 

"Say aaaah," I lovingly said and Ren obeyed, still gazing lovingly at me. I was just expelled from Hope's Peak and just because I didn't want to be apart from Ren, I just stayed in Matsuda's lab taking care of him. Matsuda couldn't care less. Every day I brushed his hair, fed him and cuddled him. He even learned a lot of words and uses them even though he slightly stutters. His voice was also adorable.

"Ko, h-hold me."  
I was cradling him in my lap when I heard Matsuda's faint voice.

"The fuck are you taking so long? That boy here is about to develop a brand new personality already."

Wait, was Ren's original personality actually gone? Removed, even? 

"If you say, let me get rid of something first. Then I'll take him to you."

Ren sensed my discomfort and held me tighter. "I will p-protect you, Ko. I love y-you."

Matsuda barged in. "Komaeda, quick. Leave."  
My breath hitched. What will happen to Ren if I leave? I'm scared."  
Matsuda sighed. "He will be okay, even better. He'll be cured."

Does that mean he will revert back to his original personality?

"I really want him to be okay." I gulped as I watched Ren hold me even tighter, not wanting to let go.  
"Ko, don't leave." He cupped both of my cheeks and innocently kissed me on the lips. 

Matsuda had to remove me by force after that because I couldn't stop kissing him over and over, and he gripped my sweater tightly. I could only reach for his face and wipe his tears for the last time.  
"Nagito! Nagito!" I kept hearing Ren's screams and couldn't dare to look back. This was the first time he ever used my first name.

 

\- - - - - 

 

"I must kill you!" I gripped the hunter knife tightly and attacked Ren. He was in a reserve course uniform and his eyes were red, but he was indeed the one I loved. The worst thing was the neutral expression on his face, even though his glance still softened when he looked at me.  
"Nagito, stop. You can't defeat me and I don't want to hurt you." He pleaded, but I knew I had to kill him.

"I must kill you, Ren. Because you're the one I love the most... For despair! Despair!"

"You can't, no one can defeat me." Ren looked so sad for a moment, like the way he looked at me when we first met. Next, I had dropped the knife and Ren rushed to my side only to hold me close to his chest.

"When they took you away from me... They made me into a completely different person. I'm no longer the amnesiac boy you knew and gave an identity. I'm now Izuru Kamukura. The Ultimate Hope, I have every talent known by humanity." He kissed my forehead. "Only my memories in Matsuda's lab and my love for you stayed the same."

"Izuru..." I breathed. "I still love you and you should die because of that. Your death is required for me to fall deeper into despair, that's how everyone fell in! Teruteru killed his sick mother, Akane killed a couple of her siblings, Sonia overthrew the king and queen only to get them executed, it was wonderful! But I don't have any family... Haha..." I kissed Izuru hard and he responded eagerly at first, only to push me away when I tried to bite his tongue off. "Hahahahahaha!" I continued laughing and lifted my hands to squeeze his neck. Izuru sighed and the next thing I knew, I was unconscious.


End file.
